I like lists. There's no particular time or instance that comes to mind that sparked this adoration of organization, but it's something that helps me focus my energy. I have entire notebooks dedicated to them: daily activity lists, packing lists, cleaning lists, financial lists... See even this is starting to become a list in itself.

But lists don't provide a solution. They're just a way to restructure thoughts and ideas- never actually decluttering. That's my resolution this year. My life just needs one big overhaul of clutter because my mind is starting to run out of space.

Last year, I don't think I had any real resolutions- it was more of a continuation of the previous year's goal: to stop being passive and do everything actively. Spending the past two years focusing on that resolution has been incredible. It pushed me to pursue my dreams whole-heartedly; it made me stop caring so much about rejection and the opinions of others; it taught me to embrace change; it allowed me to discover happiness within myself and my individual life choices. It's with that mindset already established, that I'm able to make progress on new personal ambitions. 

Being an active participant in everything is so so rewarding, but it can also get exhausting- that's where this years resolution comes in. 

I think I let everything pile up. By the time this year ended, I got so carried away doing everything that I wasn't taking the time to breathe. 

It's the little things that seem to accumulate the easiest. Right now, my Spotify has 1,734 songs and 50 playlists saved, my college email (that I don't even use anymore) has 919 unread messages and my todo list is so long I've lost sight of getting anything done.  I mean, there's 12 drafts of blog posts just waiting to be posted on this account alone. 

So posting this finally (after writing it two weeks ago) is my first act of decluttering. TBD how the rest will go, but the first step is always the hardest.

At this point, I don't think it's possible for someone to have a conversation with me without my kittens being mentioned. Actually, hold on a sec, I'm putting a picture of them here so you understand how ridiculously  cute Anna and Elsa are. 

It's important to understand that I'm not a cat person. I don't really like cats and I never have, but Anna and Elsa are different. First of all, they're the two weirdest cats you'll ever meet. They like people and being pet, they never scratch or bite at anything and they listen to commands. So basically, I lucked out so so much. 

Getting Anna and Elsa changed my perspective of the world. I think for so long I wasn't just lost and trying to figure out my purpose, but when you're alone, that can be hard. Having someone else to take care of and consider with all my decisions makes things simpler. I don't get lonely anymore. There's no "FOMO" feeling when I stay in on a Saturday night and come home straight after work. It's nice to feel needed. Granted, I know cats are pretty independent compared to other animals, they still rely on me to feed them and keep their space clean. As much as I feel like I need them, they also need me.

Not to say that I wasn't taking care of myself, but sometimes when you're gong through life, it just feels like every action is redundant, or even robotic. If I didn't feel hungry, I'd skip dinner, when I got home from work I'd get ready for bed and sit around or hang out with people. Having two little constant companions makes that a bit harder to do, but I'm honestly more than okay with that. I love coming home from work and having Anna and Elsa run to the door to greet me; I love knowing they'll curl up on my chest and purr when I'm asleep; I love knowing that I can throw toys around and play with then whenever I'm bored.

Now while there's lots of sunshine and rainbows, this wouldn't be a true blog post without a list telling you things that you only kinda want to know.